So really I don’t know what’s happening inside now. And it’s obvious from some conversations that I can’t really articulate it either. This weekend we were in the car riding home from Battle Creek with John and Lissa and apparently I talked the entire way home. One runon sentance in response to Lissa asking “So, what’s going on with you, Jason?”. Don’t think I actually said anything. Lametown. Boo Jason.
Here’s what I do know. I think the Holy Spirit is delivering me. I think the Holy Spirit is doing some transformative renovation in me. There are some thought patterns that I haven’t been down in two weeks. Some temptations or opportunities to stumble that don’t seem to be tempting anymore. I’m more at peace. I’m moving (it will take longer) toward being more sensitive. That’s how I know there is something going on. It’s not just writing about it. It’s happening. And it’s not me. I’ve tried to manufacture my own righteousness before. I know how to be a faker. This ain’t it.
I can also infer that this is a season where the Holy Spirit is simply covering me while He works. It’s actually working in our family too. All of a sudden Grace has an increased hungering and thirsting for the Word. Micki is so in the zone. She’s B.A. It seems like things are clicking together. It’s a marvelous season I never want to end. I think part of this is the joy and peace that the Holy Spirit provides through authenticity with myself, Him, and other people. This morning as I read “The Rabbi’s Heartbeat” (on my iPhone via Amazon Kindle), I agreed with his statement,
“The decision to come out of hiding is our initiation rite into the healing ministry of Jesus Christ. It brings its own reward. We stand in the Truth that sets us free and live out of the Reality that makes us whole.”
Healing in our spirit won’t happen without us “coming out” with our sin/brokeness/poverty. It’s just a fact. Otherwise, we’re creating a righteousness of our own. When we “come out”, that is when the Holy Spirit can break through. That’s when we can be healed from ourselves. That’s when we can truly be free. Our church began a series on the Holy Spirit yesterday with a whimper. I’m going to be praying daily that the Holy Spirit breaks through in our church. I’m wondering if it begins with an authentic confession of our sin and bringing our dirt, our poverty, into the light. Not sure. I guess He can do whatever He wants, whenever He wants to. I just hope He does it in our church. We need it.